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The more you can interact with the real guy instead of the fantasy guy, the better. Or perhaps the guy’s not in a relationship at all, but he’s emotionally unavailable. Emotionally, this is just as devastating and destructive to you. It will turn you into this person you don’t want to be—someone who stands by on the sidelines of life waiting for a man to get his shit together and leave another woman. Maybe it worked out well for one person, and the guy left his wife/girlfriend/issues, and they lived happily ever after. Know that your efforts are not helping move things along.The Pattern: If a guy is dating someone, married, or otherwise engaged, you’re intrigued. But for mere mortals, even in those rare instances when the man does leave his wife, all that happens is he transitions into the “emotionally unavailable” category, and it won’t work out. Stop planning group activities—if he wants to ask you out, he’s a big boy and he knows how to without Karaoke Night being shoved in his face.Do whatever it takes to get back into the starring role of your own life.The Pattern: You want the guy you date to think you’re a great writer or singer or super-smart and savvy businesswoman.You you think, as you send him links to every clip you’ve ever published after he expressed interest in your writing on your first date. Or take him through your recent Power Point presentation.He believes in you and this feels wonderful, but you come to depend on his approval. How To Break It: As far as validation goes, the best place to get the approval you desire is from within yourself.You long to be an actor so you date an accomplished performer while waiting tables.You love to sing so you date a rock star while your guitar collects dust in your closet. accomplishments, and feel successful by association just because he’s dating you.
You start out thinking it’s just a fling so it’s fine that he’s in a committed relationship. It’s great to let him know that you had fun and give this guy a sign that should he want to ask you out again, you’ll say yes. But these relationships aren’t worth being in anyway.
Click through to see some of the biggest offenders and suggestions for how to let them go. Plus: 8 Types Of Scientists We Want To Date And Why The Pattern: After a date, you lie in bed all day reliving every delicious moment from the night before.
If you can break these deadly dating patterns, you might have a shot at that love thing after all. Or as soon as you meet a guy, you envision your future dates with him, marrying him, or just having hot sex with him.
It isn’t enough to date someone who is doing what you want to be doing and it doesn’t bring you any closer to your goals.
Take a class, apply for the kinds of jobs you dream of having, start a blog, go on auditions, dust off your guitar and hit an open mic.
Or, on your first date, you already feel like you’ve known him forever. How To Break It: The problem with this pattern is that while emotional intensity and physical attraction are electrifying, they’re not love and definitely don’t mean that this person is your one and only soul mate.